Chocolate Can't Fix Everything

Chocolate heals a broken heart
It mends a torn soul
Chocolate cheers you up
It saves you from starvation
Chocolate makes the world go `round

But if chocolate heals a broken heart
Why is mine not whole again?
And if chocolate mends a torn soul
Why is mine still in shreds?

Because
Chocolate isn’t enough
to heal this deep wound
It isn’t enough
to piece together my shattered heart
It isn’t enough
to save my life this time

If chocolate makes the world go `round
But it can’t even save my soul
All that’s left for me to do
Is sit and watch my life
Get thrown away

And if chocolate makes the world go `round
I suppose my world has stopped turning
It has lost its gravitational pull
And is falling
A
Long
Way
Down

A Prayer For Help

Dear Lord ~

I try to stay calm
As I am taunted
Day and night

Without the proof
They won’t believe
So they ask again,
“Where is your God?”

O Lord,
I long for your help
For I have no answer
But:

Up in the heavens
Watching over you

In the flowers
And the birds

In the sky
And on the ground

I have no visible proof
You must just
Believe

O Lord
Come quickly to my aid
Take over my lips
Give me the words
To say

Send me with
Your message
To untwist the tongues
Of the unfaithful

~Amen

I Did It Because I Love You

I’ve been crying all night
It’s keeping me awake
I need some sleep
I’ve used up all my energy
These past few days

I’ve exploded
One too many times
I finally burst
Into flame

I’m on fire
My heart is burning
My head is erupting
My faith is dying
My soul is crying
And my conscience
Gave up on me

I’m sorry I hurt you
I told you I couldn’t explain it
I told you I don’t fully understand
I told I need help
But we kept going

But what hurt the most
Was your last message to me
You suffocated me
Stabbed me in the heart
I’m sorry
I love you
But I’m dying
And I don’t think anything
Can bring me back this time

I Wish I Could Tell You... I Love You

Head pounding
Heart burning
I’m melting for you

Tears falling
Courage hiding
I wish I could tell you

That I love you
And I want you
Darling
Will you be my baby

Ears listening
Jaw dropping
I can’t believe
What I just heard

Makeup smearing
Heart breaking
I’m crying because

You love her
But you just cant tell her
Well that’s how I feel about you

Cant you see
Cant you tell

That I love you boy
And I want you
Darling
Will you be my baby

Is Love Really Worth All The Pain

Blood stains my skin
As my heart is ripped
Right from my chest

I still feel the beating
As he holds it
Inches from my face

Taunting me
Reminding me
That without the heart
In his hand
My life disintegrates
Into thin air

Even with all the pain
He has caused
I still love him

His eyes still twinkle
Like a starry night sky
And his voice is still
Sweet as candy

Why does he have to be
So amazing
Torment me with beauty
That I could never have

Time is running out
I don’t have much longer
But he won’t give it back
He still says never

But I realize this time
Maybe he is right
We weren’t meant to be

Because if this is what it takes
If this is the pain it causes
It really is not worth it

I Don't Have Super Powers

I'm sorry I'm not that amazing
I'm not so bloody brilliant
I'm not superwoman

You're asking too much of me
I can't give you the world
I'm sorry I'm not God

Will you just leave me alone
I need my space
Don't touch me
Don't talk to me

I thought it might work
You and me
But apparently not
Because I don't meet your standards

I'm sorry I can't reach
Past the heavens
I'm not magical
Or mystical
I'm just a simple
Human being

Now please
Just get out of here
My head is pounding
And I can't deal with this anymore

The Storm Continues

The storm is taking over
The rain's not ceasing
The wind is still whistling
In my ear
The thunder continues to beat
Simultaniously with my heart

I fail to conquer it
My feelings
Override my concience

Clouds block
The sweet rays of the sun
Lightning cracks
It stings my ears
How long with this storm stay

Night is almost here
And I won't be able to sleep
With this pounding
In my head

Time Brings Pain

PS. I miss you
It’s been too long
I haven’t seen you
In forever

I need your warmth
That unique comfort
That I can only get
From you

When can I
See you again
I need a hugg
With your arms
Wrapped tight around me

Will you please come
Rescue me
So I can be with you again

PS. I miss you
I need you
Desperately

Distance is not enough
To tear you from my heart
But time
That’s a different story

Over time comes pain
And sometimes that pain
Is just to strong To handle

That’s why I need you
Because I love you
And it has been
Way too long
That I have gone
Without you

Broken

With my head
Smashed against the concrete
My heart pinned to a tree
My soul trapped in a jar
And my tears set free

I'm so messed up
Ripped apart
Broken
And afraid

Emptiness encloses me
I can't be saved
No medicine
No remedy
Will bring me back

The pain starts to fade
And numbness grows strong
As all sensation disappears

I can't feel the ground beneath me
Or hear the vulture above me
I can't see the tree that holds my heart
Or smell the blood that stains this world

All feeling is gone
My tears have all dried up
My soul has died
My heart was torn in two
And my head was crushed

There is nothing left of me
But the memories
The pain and sorrows
The rain and hurricanes

Those will never go away
Through death and destruction
The memories will stay

Tough Times

I just can't understand
Why I'm being put through this

I wish I could
Just figure out some how
What threw me into this storm
Why I am being put in this mess

The rain keeps beating me
Stabbing my heart
Piercing my soul
But these raindrops don't come from the sky
These are the tears
Flowing from my eyes

I wish I could
Understand this life I've been living
Why the world has taken over me
And who I really am
Because I'm not who I used to be

I wish I could
Begin again
With a brand new life
And forget about the past
Forget about who I've been
And completely change
Into someone else

I just can't go on like this
The tears are weighing down my shoulders
Why does everything have to be this way
So complicated
And messed up
Can't something go right for once
Can't I be normal

Because the life I'm in right now
Is not worth living
I can't survive
If I continue like this

Maybe with just one friend
Who I could count on for anything
I would be able to survive

I need someone to hug
Someone to love
Someone to trust
A shoulder to lean on

Someone who won't hurt me
Or turn around and stab me in the back
Someone who loves me

I need a friend

If I Were to Die

Your voice plays over in my head
As my life begins to fade
And Everything I have
Is taken away

Im hanging on desperatly
To my life
So far from the ground
But my hands slip
And I fall a long way down

Lifeless
Laying there
I look in to the sky

Blackness surrounds me
Im gone forever
And I've left the world behind me

Will tomorrow be the same?
Will nothing have changed?
Will your life go on as it would have if I was still there?
Did I hold a place in your heart?
Did I make a difference to your life?

I look God in the eyes
And tears roll down my face
Father Almighty
Creator
Savior
You've brought me home to be with you

Will tomorrow be the same?
Will nothing have changed?
Will the world go on as it would have if I was still there?
Did I hold a place on the earth?
Did I make a difference to the world?

Tomorrow may not change
For you or the world
I may have never made a difference to you
I may have been invisible to the world
But I know up here
In heaven
My life has been redirected
And I've chosen a new road to follow

So tomorrow won't be the same
So much has changed
The world may go on as normal
Your life may continue as if I was never there
But now I hold a place in heaven
And I can garuntee
You will always be remembered
In my heart